Tampo
"The distinct Filipino way of showing disappointment or sulking."
What is Tampo?
Tampo is perhaps the most confusing cultural behavior for foreign men. It is a non-verbal way a Filipina expresses that her feelings are hurt. It is not quite anger, and it is not quite the “silent treatment”—it is a withdrawal of warmth.
Signs of tampo:
- Giving one-word answers.
- Refusing to eat (“Hindi ako gutom” - I’m not hungry).
- Quietly cleaning or keeping busy to avoid eye contact.
- Deleting social media photos (extreme cases).
Why She Does It
In Filipino culture, direct confrontation is avoided to maintain social harmony (pakikisama). Telling you directly “You were rude to my brother” feels too aggressive. Instead, she uses tampo expecting you to use pakiramdam (feeling/intuition) to sense something is wrong and fix it.
How to Fix It
Do NOT:
- Get angry back.
- Ignore her.
- Demand logically “Just tell me what’s wrong!”
DO:
- Use Lambing (affectionate tenderness).
- Apologize softly, even if you don’t know exactly what for yet.
- Bring her favorite food.
- Hug her or make a sweet gesture.
The Insider
Founder & Lead Editor
The lead strategist behind Filipina Dating Insider. With over a decade of firsthand experience navigating the complex dating culture of the Philippines, from the traditional "ligaw" to the modern digital landscape.